"The Shivering" Sean Gaboury

In Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's short story "The Shivering," soon after Ukamaka meets fellow tenant Chinedu, and before learning his name, the two pray, leading to Ukamaka reflecting on religion: "She wanted to interrupt and tell him ... that life was a struggle with ourselves more than with a spear-wielding Satan; that belief was a choice for our conscience always to be sharpened. But she did not say these words, because they would sound sanctimonious coming from her..." (Adichie 143 [Kindle]). The story, and also the titular "shivering," focus heavily on the conflict and resolution of religion. Ukamaka and the second character of the story, Chinedu, both follow different religions and the difference is shown to bring them closer together. Ukamaka believes that such devout Pentecostal methods as Chinedu employs are unnecessary and makes her uneasy (143). This view, which seems to stem simply from meeting Father Patrick after a breakup, guides her thoughts through the story as she tries to understand the tragedy of a Nigerian plane crash which may or may not have contained her ex-boyfriend. This guiding is important, as the story makes it clear that Ukamaka has been living her ex-boyfriend, Udenna's, life. She speaks of Udenna throughout the entire story, tells Chinedu about all the traits she's absorbed from him, such as judging others by appearance to guess their background or using hot peppers in her cooking. Finding Father Patrick was the first thing Ukamaka did on her own after the breakup, so it becomes her stand as an individual. So because of this, I find it strange that her attitude toward religion, that life is a struggle with ourselves, is rather agnostic in its approach. When she was a child, Ukamaka claims to have experienced God, and wonders if the "shivering" with Chinedu is the same Godly experience. Yet, she remains set in her way that it was merely stress. Ukamaka continues to personify God's intentions, almost dismissing it as senseless. This attitude of Ukamaka's toward God and the religious experience feels to me like she's fighting the system in a way, fighting to have control of herself in a world she knows she cannot control. I believe that she's battling her faith in an attempt to level out the world as a human experience. This contrasts her repeated comments to Chinedu, where she thinks to herself of his Pentecostal nature is "turning faith into a pugilistic exercise" (143) and tells him later "your faith, it's almost like fighting" (164). I don't think Ukamaka sees that she's projecting her own experience onto her friend, but subconsciously understands the struggle. This subconscious relation to the original quote of the struggle with ourselves is what I believe caused the "shivering."